soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
did i just pee glitter
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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