Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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