margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
