and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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