I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
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