I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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