dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
