So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I'm at about main and main street
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
