Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
