I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
