new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
