i jhust puked up my retainher.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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