dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
just tell him i said nine months
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
