People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
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