I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
