We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
