Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
