she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
