I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
