proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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