I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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