I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
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