I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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