Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
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As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
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She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
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