Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
She said her name was "party"
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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