I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
