I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
This baby is an asshole
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
