from now on my penis is your penis
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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