Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
