There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
