i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
