Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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