Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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