I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
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