If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
