1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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