So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
