he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize