She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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