The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The feeling are messing with the penis
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
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