a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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