I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Randomize
