the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
