and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
