Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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