**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
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