Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
