i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
