Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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