i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Randomize
