the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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