oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
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