I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
