I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Randomize
