Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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