Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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