So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
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