That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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