did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
