You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
