I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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