yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
my god I love twenty year old dicks
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
