Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
