And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is classic penis vs brain.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
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